Personal
Weakness and Strength
12:30 AM
Whenever I'm asked about my (heart) surgery, I never quite know what to answer--mostly because I barely remember it. I was 12 and was asleep during the whole thing. It was 7 in the morning. My last memory before the Anesthesia kicked in and put me to sleep was inside the elevator, with the nurses who were transporting me to the operating room. Later that day, I woke up at 5pm in the emergency room and it was done.
Needless to say, I have a scar at the middle of my chest that reminds me of it. I was young and was only bordering puberty when this all happened. Naturally, I was insecure. It used to be my weakness. I hid it from everyone and folded every time someone would notice and ask about it. It sounds silly, but I also worried about boys not liking me because of it.
As I've grown, it slowly became my strength. A reminder that at a young age, I didn't fear nor flake, because I love my life. Because I love living. And as for my worry about boys? The men who are worth it wouldn't care.
But I'm not gonna lie... I still have my moments when I would think about editing it out on photos, or hiding it from people I come across. But I did take inspiration off of it for my blog's name, which I think is a good sign that I have become better and am better because of it.
So, I tell you, it's okay to feel weak sometimes. Just don't be weak.
It is from our weakness that we unknowingly draw strength.
xx
Megann
19 comments
i think you're brave, twin. :) i admire you for that! But true enough, because of those weaknesses and experiences that makes us who we are today. :)
ReplyDeleteThank you, twin! :) We all have different battles that we fight on almost a daily basis. And just going through a day without giving up is bravery in itself :)
DeleteBut " I woke up at 5pm in the emergency room and it was done."
ReplyDeletewhat happened ?
Hi, G! I had undergone an open heart surgery when I was 12 :)
DeleteIn all honesty, I didn't even notice it.
ReplyDeleteYou look beautiful dear.. such an inspiration to us all!
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Thank you, dear! :) I think also that that's the thing with weaknesses. Most of the time, no one notices them until we point it out. Essentially, we cause our own insecurity and that's what we all have to understand :) That we can cure it also on our own.
Deletevery well written... was able to browse your posts few days ago...i like your page and and your posts by the way.
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Why thank you, Mel :)
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ReplyDeletebeing able to share this makes you really brave! you're an inspiration! :>
ReplyDeleteYani
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Thank you, Yani :)
DeleteI am proud of you cause you are not shy about it and make the scar a symbol of your strength :D miss you kapatid!
ReplyDeleteThanks, kapatid! Hope to see you soon :) Lapit na kasal kasal. Heeee! ;)
DeleteYou're such an inspiration! Stay strong! :)
ReplyDeleteI'm hosting an anniversary giveaway on my blog! Get the chance to win a set of clothes from a shop called Sexy Little Things. :)
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Thank you, Rien! I'm actually inspired by everyone who manages to stay strong despite the struggles they go through :)
DeleteAwwww you are really an inspiration. Your words are stirring. I will be undergoing a surgery, too, soon enough and this post made me even stronger and braver. Thank you Megann! <3
ReplyDeleteGem
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Wow, thank you Gemnikka! I really appreciate this :) I hope that the recovery will be quick for you. Thanks for reading!
DeleteI love that you wear your battle scar proudly :) My baby brother had heart surgery way young too and he is just starting to get to the point where he is ok with the scar. I hope he is as strong as you someday!
ReplyDeleteYes, I'm glad I am now able to. I hope for the best for your baby brother :) I can imagine how it must be for him. At least he is better now. And I hope he becomes stronger as the days pass :)
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